I’ve owned a news web zone and blogger company, and I’ve co-owned a model railroad business, a house with gardens, a hot tub, and a sauna—and I’ve lost it all. I’ve failed at more projects and relationships than most people dare to try… yet, here I am, still trying. What’s wrong with me? Well, I want to succeed. I believe in love. Perhaps you feel like you’ve messed up. I’m living proof that making a mess of things can truly help you grow.
Don’t worry that you’ll fail. I’m not attempting to sell a bill of false claims; messing up is humbling and often painful. But, it’s worth it. Be brave, and go out there ready to conquer without being afraid to fall. Here are a few points to consider if you’re feeling scared, stuck or lost.
Imperfect, we can still be loved
Cut yourself some slack, my friends. While I certainly don’t want to sound like one of those memes with a kitten saying “hang in there”, I do want to encourage you to love yourself. We screw up, and it’s okay—as long as we make an effort to avoid hurting ourselves or anyone else in the same way again. Appreciate yourself—your beautiful, flawed, human self (“warts and all”, as the old saying goes). People worth having around will stick with you, through thick and thin.
It’s okay to mess up
Live and learn, and all that jazz, right? Well, it’s true, and you cannot learn without experience. Look at your successes, whether a relationship or job-related—take a peek at where you’re killing it in life, and where you’re not doing so hot. Are there things you do that repeatedly get you into trouble? Are there people you keep in your circle who sabotage you? Learn from your past errors and transgressions, and get on with it. It’s alright to fall and get back up.
What can you improve?
In your heart, you already know which areas need improvement. Get ready to do some sprucing up emotionally, and clear out any dark thoughts that hold you back. It’s okay to take some time and make a list of the traits and skills you need to work on. Change doesn’t have to happen overnight. Be patient, but be ready to make modifications.
What can you control?
Setbacks can bruise the ego—I know this all too well. While we may not be in control of things such as the stock market or our partner’s emotional issues, we are in control of our thoughts and actions. Focus on staying positive, be ready to tackle obstacles (as I guarantee they will appear), and don’t stay despondent and stuck.
Inspire others
People with battle wounds and life experience make excellent teachers. Look at it this way: would you want advice from someone who had not encountered any bumps along the way? Nope, give me someone whose heart has been broken–someone who has experienced loss and grief. They’re the people I want to learn from. Get out there and share your story with others. You never know who you may inspire.
Don’t be afraid
Game plans and security are important, of course, but letting fear block you from living the life you dream of is a bad idea. Envision the life you want, and do everything you can to get and stay on that path. Ask the person out, sign up for the class, or put a deposit on the office space. Don’t let fears paralyze or limit you—take some risks and see what happens
What are you doing wrong?
Do you wallow in your failure? Do you stay stuck and depressed after things go not-so-great? Cut it out. We all love a little pity party now and then as a salve for our wounds, but just don’t stay in that place. Observe your feelings, look at missteps that happened along the way, and start anew. If you keep repeating the same behavior (i.e. infidelity, lying, or cutting corners), nothing will improve.
Love is worth it, and success is worth it. Get your heart broken, lose some money… just be brave, venture out and see what failure may teach you along the way.
